Recently, I watched the premiere episode of Spartacus: Blood and Sand. If you enjoy senseless highly stylized violence, mixed in with copious amounts of tits and ass, you will definitely want to catch this new series!

Despite the liberal use of English accents and being set in the well-familiar Roman time period, this show should not in any way be compared to HBO’s Rome, which was a much more historically accurate and cerebral experience that what Spartacus could hope to offer.

A Blatant Copy of Past Films?

Instead, after watching a few minutes of Spartacus: Blood and Sand you will immediately see its similarity to such movies as The Gladiator and 300. In fact, it wouldn’t be an overstatement to call this mini series a blatant rip off of either. More specifically, it mirrors The Gladiator’s plot and largely copies 300’s art direction and fight choreography. What the show evidently boils down to is graphic scenes of hand-to-hand combat interrupted by graphic scenes of sex and random nudity.

But I’m not going to harp on the presentation and substance of Spartacus. It offers exactly the kind of mindless testosterone fueled action that certain people enjoy. And that’s what this show is all about – simple entertainment.

You already know the plot, the cast of good and evil characters and the much romanticized time period that his story takes place in. So really, what you’re experiencing is a re-enactment of something many people can’t get enough of – the brave hero who bangs an impossibly hot wife, who has his town destroyed, who must now battle in the arena of death for his life, freedom and honor!

An Adolescent Boy’s Dream

Filled with a cast of hot models, chiseled warriors and teeth gnashing villains, Spartacus is as superficial and contrived as it sounds. There is nothing innovative in its presentation or surprising in its plot (thus far), but that’s fine when you just want to catch some blood letting action and see the entire female cast nude. And there are some very hot women in this show, including Viva Bianca and Erin Cummings.

Conclusion

I could barely watch the first half of the premiere episode knowing exactly what would happen and the premise that was being set, but I did manage to finish it and I’ll probably tune in for the next episode. To its credit, the production values are quite high and the action isn’t half-bad; I just wish they’d invest in an original plot and used less slow-motion in the action scenes. But who knows, perhaps they’ve left a surprise or two in the coming episodes and things will improve. We’ll just have to wait and see.

Have you seen Spartacus: Blood and Sand yet? What are your thoughts?

When Kristen Kreuk was cast to play Chun Li in the latest Street Fighter movie, I was pretty stoked. But could she fight? Could she act? Would the battered Street Fighter brand be finally redeemed on the silver screen? These were some heavy questions everyone was asking, including myself.  But really – and I think I speak for a lot of men people here – my main interest was seeing this stunning half-Chinese, half-Dutch girl donning the Chun Li outfit, looking sexy, and making angry-cute faces at the bad guys!

To summarize my thoughts, Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li is one of the worst action films I have ever seen, and will hopefully sound the death knell for live action attempts at the series.

The fight sequences, and there aren’t as many as you might expect, are barely a cut above daytime television standards. The wire-fu is particularly egregious, with excessive edits and fast camera pans unable to mask the lack of athletic ability of the cast. For a good reference (if not the golden standard) of what can be performed by a group of well-trained and choreographed actors, see Zhang Ziyi versus Michelle Kwon in Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon for a martial arts masterpiece.

I could go on and on about what makes Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li such a bad film, but that would be giving far too much attention to a movie that nobody should have to see. Unless, of course, you are a Kristin Kreuk fan!

Yes, there are plenty of interesting shots of Kristin Kreuk in this film, and she shows her complete range of acting emotions, notably: anger, sadness and anger-sadness. Or, pretty much exactly what she delivered on Smallville for all those years.

Unfortunately, she doesn’t seem to wear any sexy outfits during this outing – not even the high cut skirt worn by Chun-Li in the videogame that is infamously popular among the otaku crowd. It seems that the makers of the film deliberately tried to downplay Kristen’s sex appeal, perhaps to make her a better role model for young women. This was obviously a mistake.

So, if you are a diehard Kristen Kreuk fan, and can stomach the terrible plot, script and acting in this film, at least you can enjoy staring at this magnificent beauty for a solid 90 minutes while you simultaneously try to scrub the rest of the show from your bleeding senses. Also, there are a couple cool tracks by rapper Ace Hood to give the soundtrack a bit of gangstaness, although it’s hardly enough to save the film.

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li gets a 2/10. One point for Kristin Kreuk’s adorably strange facial expressions, and another for featuring Ace Hood on the soundtrack.

Do you like car chases in movies? How about ones that are mostly done in computer graphics – an experience that’s little different from watching someone else play a videogame, but at 24 frames per second? Because that’s how I felt after watching Fast and Furious, the latest Vin Diesel flick that also stars Michelle Rodriguez, Paul Walker and Jordana Brewster.

In truth, a few of the chase sequences are probably worth watching once, but largely, the film fails to deliver anything new or exciting to the series. But what were you expecting? It’s the third bloody sequel, and the original wasn’t anything special to begin with. Check out Ronin if you want to see car chases done right. If they only put Deniro behind the wheel of a tricked out Nissan Micra…

The one thing that got me interested enough to watch Fast and Furious is the casting of Jordana Brewster, who plays Mia Toretto, not that you need to learn anyone’s name in this film. Which gets me thinking, why bother calling Vin Diesel’s character anything other than Vin Diesel!? He plays the same character in all his films.

Jordana, who also appeared in the original The Fast and The Furious and did a stint on NBC’s Chuck earlier this year, is known for her attractive girl-next-door appeal. With her straight brunette hair, naturally tanned skin and big wet eyes, Jordana Brewster is a major, major babe. Unfortunately, the makers of Fast and Furious inexplicably dress her up like someone’s Italian grandmother! It’s unbelievable that they don’t make her look sexy at all. Aside from a brief but fully clothed make-out scene, there’s no sex or skin to be had in this film.

Concerning Jordana’s role in the film, it’s like she’s doing a cameo appearance. Saying hi and giving friendly hugs to her cast mates is a horrid waste of Jordana’s talents. When is this chic going to get naked, or at least have a mildly erotic sex scene? Certainly not while Vin Diesel is around hogging the spotlight with his goofy mug. But somehow I doubt Jordana, a Yale grad and former child soap star, will pursue roles that exploit her sexuality. This is a girl that has skillfully dodged the scandals and tabloid fodder of her Hollywood cohorts. It seems that she’s chosen a more private and modest existence than some of her media whore friends. Pity for us.

The best part of Fast and Furious is probably near the end, when Jordana Brewster is seen driving a JDM Acura NSX. A sexy girl in a sexy car! Why wasn’t the whole film based around this concept? Instead, we’re forced to watch a creepy looking bald dude and a Zack Morris look-alike drive their high school prom cars through silly computer generated tunnels against a politically-correct-because-they’re-racially-diverse field of competitors that always seem to crash or drive slower cars. At least video games have the element of uncertainty to make them exciting.

Fast and Furious gets a 2/10, after losing a point for starring Vin Diesel and another for featuring Souljah boy music.

Occasionally, I’ll catch an episode of NBC’s Chuck, a comedic spy thriller about a man who lives with a supercomputer stuck inside his head. Chuck, the show, is both funny and smart, yet never takes itself too seriously. Much of the show’s success stems from its solid cast, which includes the beautiful blonde, Yvonne Strahovski.

Yvonne Strahovski plays the character Sarah Walker, an undercover CIA operative who is in charge of protecting the man with the supercomputer in his head, Chuck Bartowski.

As any fan of the show surely knows by now, the writers of Chuck will occasionally pen in a scene where Yvonne Strahovski must forgo wearing some of her clothes! It’s pretty obvious that such scenes do little to push the plot development and are merely presented for the appeasement of the mostly male demographic that tunes in each week. I’m not criticizing the use of sex to garner more viewers, but I think they could be more creative in how they insert these scenes.

Australian native Yvonne Strahovski has a killer body, and fortunately, I found some screen caps of her latest panty-walk. These shots come from the same episode where Chuck finally makes his move on Sarah, which results in some tongue-locked, ass-grabbing, Mongolian bed wrestling. But don’t get your hopes up too high – the whole sex scene is cut short when Chuck realizes he doesn’t have a condom! I guess when you have an unparalleled amount of knowledge stuffed into your head, you know your exact chances of catching an STD from the CIA’s hottest agent!

Get a look at Yvonne Strahovski’s almost-nude, almost-sex scene. God I love a blonde in panties!