Jordana Brewster Is Better Than Vin Diesel

Do you like car chases in movies? How about ones that are mostly done in computer graphics – an experience that’s little different from watching someone else play a videogame, but at 24 frames per second? Because that’s how I felt after watching Fast and Furious, the latest Vin Diesel flick that also stars Michelle Rodriguez, Paul Walker and Jordana Brewster.

In truth, a few of the chase sequences are probably worth watching once, but largely, the film fails to deliver anything new or exciting to the series. But what were you expecting? It’s the third bloody sequel, and the original wasn’t anything special to begin with. Check out Ronin if you want to see car chases done right. If they only put Deniro behind the wheel of a tricked out Nissan Micra…

The one thing that got me interested enough to watch Fast and Furious is the casting of Jordana Brewster, who plays Mia Toretto, not that you need to learn anyone’s name in this film. Which gets me thinking, why bother calling Vin Diesel’s character anything other than Vin Diesel!? He plays the same character in all his films.

Jordana, who also appeared in the original The Fast and The Furious and did a stint on NBC’s Chuck earlier this year, is known for her attractive girl-next-door appeal. With her straight brunette hair, naturally tanned skin and big wet eyes, Jordana Brewster is a major, major babe. Unfortunately, the makers of Fast and Furious inexplicably dress her up like someone’s Italian grandmother! It’s unbelievable that they don’t make her look sexy at all. Aside from a brief but fully clothed make-out scene, there’s no sex or skin to be had in this film.

Concerning Jordana’s role in the film, it’s like she’s doing a cameo appearance. Saying hi and giving friendly hugs to her cast mates is a horrid waste of Jordana’s talents. When is this chic going to get naked, or at least have a mildly erotic sex scene? Certainly not while Vin Diesel is around hogging the spotlight with his goofy mug. But somehow I doubt Jordana, a Yale grad and former child soap star, will pursue roles that exploit her sexuality. This is a girl that has skillfully dodged the scandals and tabloid fodder of her Hollywood cohorts. It seems that she’s chosen a more private and modest existence than some of her media whore friends. Pity for us.

The best part of Fast and Furious is probably near the end, when Jordana Brewster is seen driving a JDM Acura NSX. A sexy girl in a sexy car! Why wasn’t the whole film based around this concept? Instead, we’re forced to watch a creepy looking bald dude and a Zack Morris look-alike drive their high school prom cars through silly computer generated tunnels against a politically-correct-because-they’re-racially-diverse field of competitors that always seem to crash or drive slower cars. At least video games have the element of uncertainty to make them exciting.

Fast and Furious gets a 2/10, after losing a point for starring Vin Diesel and another for featuring Souljah boy music.