Apple iPad 2.0: The Wish List

Jan 28 2010

Admit it – the first incarnation of the iPad is about as conservative as Apple could have made it. So here’s what I’m asking Apple to put into their inevitable iPad 2.0:

- Forward facing camera for video chat, motion gestures, and facial recognition.
- Adobe Flash support.
- Analog thumbstick for serious gaming.
- Multitasking and notification support.
- Built in USB port
- Built in SD card slot
- Support for Apple Wireless Keyboard and Magic Mouse.
- Native iMovie app.
- Slimmer bezel.
- Cheaper entry price.

I could probably list about another ten items, but let’s face it, Apple won’t radically change anything with their next iPad model. This, of course, is to ensure that apps will work across all iPad models, past and present. Similarly, the iPad’s hardware must also respect the iPhone’s development to ensure a high amount of cross compatibility between the two devices. This keeps developers happy and Apple’s pockets lined with gold. But damn, I really wish sometimes that Apple would be a little more adventurous!

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MCL Knee Injury: Symptoms and Treatment

Jan 23 2010

The other day, after a vicious jujitsu rolling session at the gym, I noticed some pain coming from the side of the knee on the inner side of my leg. After some research, I found out that I had sustained a medial collateral ligament injury. Fortunately, my sprain appears only light, and I should be back at the gym in a short amount of time. Here’s a summary of what I learnt about MCL injuries:
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Street Fighter: The Legend of Bad Movies

Jun 23 2009

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When Kristen Kreuk was cast to play Chun Li in the latest Street Fighter movie, I was pretty stoked. But could she fight? Could she act? Would the battered Street Fighter brand be finally redeemed on the silver screen? These were some heavy questions everyone was asking, including myself.  But really – and I think I speak for a lot of men people here – my main interest was seeing this stunning half-Chinese, half-Dutch girl donning the Chun Li outfit, looking sexy, and making angry-cute faces at the bad guys!

To summarize my thoughts, Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li is one of the worst action films I have ever seen, and will hopefully sound the death knell for live action attempts at the series.

The fight sequences, and there aren’t as many as you might expect, are barely a cut above daytime television standards. The wire-fu is particularly egregious, with excessive edits and fast camera pans unable to mask the lack of athletic ability of the cast. For a good reference (if not the golden standard) of what can be performed by a group of well-trained and choreographed actors, see Zhang Ziyi versus Michelle Kwon in Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon for a martial arts masterpiece.

I could go on and on about what makes Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li such a bad film, but that would be giving far too much attention to a movie that nobody should have to see. Unless, of course, you are a Kristin Kreuk fan!

Yes, there are plenty of interesting shots of Kristin Kreuk in this film, and she shows her complete range of acting emotions, notably: anger, sadness and anger-sadness. Or, pretty much exactly what she delivered on Smallville for all those years.

Unfortunately, she doesn’t seem to wear any sexy outfits during this outing – not even the high cut skirt worn by Chun-Li in the videogame that is infamously popular among the otaku crowd. It seems that the makers of the film deliberately tried to downplay Kristen’s sex appeal, perhaps to make her a better role model for young women. This was obviously a mistake.

So, if you are a diehard Kristen Kreuk fan, and can stomach the terrible plot, script and acting in this film, at least you can enjoy staring at this magnificent beauty for a solid 90 minutes while you simultaneously try to scrub the rest of the show from your bleeding senses. Also, there are a couple cool tracks by rapper Ace Hood to give the soundtrack a bit of gangstaness, although it’s hardly enough to save the film.

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li gets a 2/10. One point for Kristin Kreuk’s adorably strange facial expressions, and another for featuring Ace Hood on the soundtrack.

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Jordana Brewster Is Better Than Vin Diesel

May 06 2009

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A Vin Diesel Masterpiece of Crap

Do you like seeing car chases in movies? How about ones that are mostly done in computer graphics – an experience that’s little different from watching someone else play a videogame?

Because that’s how I felt after watching Fast and Furious, the latest Vin Diesel flick that also stars Michelle Rodriguez, Paul Walker and Jordana Brewster.

In truth, a few of the chase sequences are probably worth watching once, but largely, the film fails to deliver anything new or exciting to the series. But what were you expecting? It’s the third bloody sequel, and the original wasn’t anything special to begin with. Check out Ronin if you want to see car chases done right. If only it was Deniro instead of Vin Diesel in this film…

Jordana Brewster Improves Things Slightly

The one thing that got me interested enough to watch Fast and Furious is the casting of Jordana Brewster, who plays the sister of Vin Diesel’s character, Mia Toretto. Not that you need to learn anyone’s name in this film. Which gets me thinking, why bother calling Vin Diesel’s character anything other than Vin Diesel!? He plays the same damn character in all his films!

Jordana, who also appeared in the original The Fast and The Furious, did a stint on NBC’s Chuck earlier this year. She’s known for her disarming girl-next-door appeal. With her straight brunette hair, naturally tanned skin and big watery eyes, Jordana Brewster is a world-class babe.

Unfortunately, the makers of Fast and Furious inexplicably dress her up like someone’s Italian grandmother! It’s unbelievable that they don’t make her look sexy at all. Aside from a brief but fully clothed make-out scene, there’s no skin or sex to be had in this film. What a waste of talent!

Concerning Jordana’s role, it’s like she’s cast in a cameo appearance. Saying hi and giving friendly hugs to everyone is all she really does. When is this chic going to get naked, or at least have a mildly erotic sex scene? Certainly not while Vin Diesel is around hogging the spotlight with his goofy mug.

Despite my hopes, I somehow doubt Jordana, a Yale grad and former child soap star, will pursue roles that exploit her sexuality. This is a girl that has skillfully dodged the scandals and tabloid fodder of her Hollywood cohorts. It seems that she’s consciously chosen to live a more private, or perhaps more modest existence. Pity for us.

Final Analysis and Conclusion

The best part of Fast and Furious is near the end, when Jordana Brewster is seen driving a JDM Acura NSX — a sexy girl in a sexy car! — why wasn’t the whole film based around this concept? Instead, most of the film involves following a creepy looking bald dude and a Zack Morris look-alike drive their high school prom cars through silly computer generated tunnels against a politically-correct-because-they’re-racially-diverse field of competitors that always seem to crash or drive slower cars.

At least playing a video game, instead of watching one, is an engaging experience with some level of excitement and unpredictability.

Fast and Furious gets a 2/10, after losing a point for starring Vin Diesel and another for featuring Souljah boy music.

Fast and Furious is now available on Amazon. Own it today and enjoy years of regret.

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